


Sticks and Stones

by JoanWilder



Category: The Streets of San Francisco
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bullying, Family Drama, Multi, Post-Series, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-05-21 06:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoanWilder/pseuds/JoanWilder
Summary: AU from my other works.  Set during the years 1993-2002.  Jeannie and her two daughters make a new start when they move from Phoenix, Arizona to Jeannie's hometown of San Francisco.  New and old friends help along the way.





	1. New Beginnings - 1993

Hey, everyone. Let me explain this entry a bit. So back when I was a kid, I came up with this idea for a sitcom that I played around with for many years (literally until 2002, when I had the story line end). It was originally set in San Francisco because at the time, my inspiration was the show "Full House", and I'm sure I wanted to meld the two worlds together somehow (fan fiction before I even knew there was such a thing). That never happened, and over the years I've played around with different settings and such (some of the characters even changed names), but nothing more than a couple scripts I wrote when I was a teenager ever materialized (and I'm sure they're dreadful anyway).

I get into writing SOSF and eventually made my way back to this idea. What happened? I collided the two worlds and made them one. Considering it was originally set in SF, I figured it was a sign or something. Anyway, this universe will follow Jeannie and her two daughters Juli and Amber as they move from Phoenix to SF. Reunion movie canon be damned. We'll see Mike and Steve, as well as some other canon outliers and some fanon characters. No crimes (well, no homicides anyway), no H/C, many OCs, so if you're not into that...there's your warning. I'll post as my schedule allows for writing. Heck, I wrote this first chapter in like, half an hour. Peace. :)

 

* * *

 

 

The plane ride was spent looking out the window at the fluffy white clouds below.   _ They really do look like cotton balls _ , she thought.  She had seen these cotton balls, or rather ones like them, on previous trips to her mother’s hometown, but there was always a return trip to the desert a few days later.  This time, there was only one cloud sighting. The thought excited the teenager, but it frightened her at the same time.  _ No going back. _

There were things she would miss, like her favorite local restaurants, or the familiarity of her surroundings, but she was leaving behind a lot of stress and heartache that she was more than happy to split with.  There would likely be new favorite restaurants, and in due time, the streets of San Francisco would become just as familiar and welcoming. At least she hoped. As long as what they were running from stayed where it was…

_ Screw you, Larry.  You can have the damn desert and the heat and the dust storms.  I hope you get stung by a scorpion, you bastard. I’ll dance on your grave. _  She balled up her fist just thinking about it.

“How much longer?” the 11 year old sitting next to her whined.

Rolling her eyes, she looked to the left and said, “A million years.  We’ll be stuck on this plane forever and ever.” She then turned her attention back out the window.

“I wasn’t asking you, dumb face,” the dishwater blonde snapped back.

“Amber Jean!”  The woman sitting in the aisle seat slammed down her magazine and glared at her daughter.

Amber sunk into her seat, crossed her arms, and pouted.

“Half an hour, tops,” her sister finally answered, her focus remaining on the clouds that were slowly engulfing the aircraft.  “We’re already descending.” She turned around and looked into her little sister’s hazel eyes. “That means going down, in case that was too big a word for you.”

“Juli Elizabeth Helen,” her mother growled through clenched teeth.

“Sorry, Mom,” she said, deciding she had better keep her mouth shut from now on.  Her mom was going through enough without having both of her daughters at each other’s throats.

Jean Wilson took a deep breath and lifted her magazine.  “We’ll be there soon. Your grandfather is likely already there waiting, and the last thing he wants to see is you two being snotty, so please behave.  Please.”

“I will,” Juli replied.  “It’ll be nice getting to see Grandpa Mike every day instead of once every few years.”

“Yeah, it will.  It really will.” Jean sighed again.  Even at 40 years old, she really needed her father now.

“Why do we have to move here?  What was wrong with Phoenix?” Amber complained suddenly.  “All my friends are in Phoenix!”

_ Freakin’ child _ , Juli muttered to herself.  “Your friends were annoying idiots.  I’m glad I never have to see them again.  Maybe you’ll make some sane friends now.”

“Maybe you’ll make some actual friends, loser,” Amber snapped back.

Before Jean could even get one word out of her mouth, Juli interrupted, “We’ll quit, I swear.”

The older woman closed her mouth and looked at Amber.  “Honey, I’ve told you before. I have a chance to teach up here, and it’s a very good opportunity.”

“She wasn’t going to pass up a cushy professor job at Berkeley just so you and your snobby friends could stay in your clique.”  Looking toward her mother, Juli smiled and said, “Go Bears, right Mom?”

Smiling slightly, Jean looked at her 13 year old and nodded.  “Go Bears.”

Amber tried to open her mouth to ask something else, but Juli gave her a glare that could have stopped her heart.  Instead, she looked down at her lap and stabbed her leg with her thumbnail.

Juli turned back to the window as the captain came over the intercom to announce that they were making their final descent into San Francisco International.  She hoped that landing would bring her mother happiness again. Not that she didn’t want a piece of that serenity, but she decided she wasn’t so much heartbroken as angry, and angry was easier to live with.  Her mom was heartbroken, and for the past month had been a walking zombie, attempting to hold her life together and smile at the same time. That became an impossible task with her beloved father in another state and her friends siding with her husband.  That made Juli just as angry as what her father had done.

_ Some friends.  Just as lousy as my friends.  All a bunch of idiots. Screw you, Arizona.  Screw you, Larry. Go sit on a cactus. _  Opening her mouth to release the pressure in her ears, she sat back, closed her eyes, and said a small prayer that everything would be better.  It had to be.


	2. Take Me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG...I'm alive! Sorry for the disgustingly long delay in updating. Summer was ridiculous and stressful. Good news is though, I start a new job in a couple weeks, and I'm hoping it leaves me more time to write and less stress so I can actually be creative. I've been outlining this story a bunch, so at least I have a flight plan, so to speak.
> 
> Plus, you know, I had to push myself to get this done today because happiest of birthdays to one of our muses, Michael Douglas. <3

“Why is it set up this way?” Juli murmured.  She was tapping her fingers on the seat in front of her while trying to adjust her backpack so that it wasn’t hurting her shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Jeannie asked, backing into the crowded aisle in a most clandestine manner to assure a more swift deplaning.

Looking toward the front of the plane, Juli pointed in that direction and explained, “First Class gets on first, so we here back in Coach have to walk over them to get to our seats, which is annoying enough.  But then they get off first. How does that make sense? Plus, they take all the overhead bin space.”

“Does make you wonder, doesn’t it?” the mother of two answered.

“It’s because they’re rich.  When you’re rich, you get everything just because.  We’re rich, so why are we stuck back here in the back?” Amber inquired in her typical - as of late -  whiny way.

 _We_ were _rich_ , Juli said to herself, wishing she could say it out loud.  Instead, she answered the question directed at her mother.

“This was a last-minute thing.  All the First Class seats were filled.  We’re lucky we got on the plane at all.”

Jeannie smiled at Juli, but her eyes were apologizing to the girl for once again making her take on adult responsibilities.  Ever since her marriage had crumbled, Jean had been making excuses and telling little white lies left and right, especially to her family.  It took her two weeks to even admit anything to her own father, and that only came because the detective and skilled interrogator in him got it out of her.  Initially, she had explained her husband’s absence to her daughters and friends by saying he was away on business or visiting family, but unlike others, Juli never bought a word.  She knew there was more to these sudden business trips that had never occurred before, and it was easy to find out that he wasn't visiting his own family.

To weed out the lies, Juli began eavesdropping on conversations and listening in on telephone calls, and she tried suppressing the fact that she found out everything, but secrets like that are hard to keep, especially when someone else is in such pain.  Together, Jeannie and Juli chose to keep Amber in the dark, simply because they did not want to have to explain it or live through the fallout. So, Juli lied. A lot. She hated it; her mother hated it more. It just seemed like the easier thing to do when dealing with a Daddy’s Girl like Amber.

“I suppose.  But if Dad had come with us, then we would have sat up there,” Amber answered.

“And yet, you survived.  Must be a miracle.” Juli spoke fluent sarcasm and used it as a deflectionary tool quite often.  “The line’s starting to move, so get up. This stale plane air is disgusting and I want off.”

Amber rolled her eyes and slowly got to her feet, taking her time grabbing the bag under the seat in front of her.

Juli took a deep breath.  She and Amber had never been exceptionally close in recent years due to their difference in personality, but lately the younger girl had been unbearable.  It took all the patience the teenager could muster to put up with her sister in even casual settings. She was hoping the move would not only bring some happiness that had been rare in the last few weeks but also bring a change in attitude to Amber.

The trio deplaned into the terminal and immediately began looking around for their family patriarch.  There was a large crowd gathered at the gate to board the aircraft they just exited, so seeing individual faces was a task.

“Where's Grandpa?” Amber asked.

Jeannie shook her head as she led her daughters through the throngs of standing passengers.  When they got to the aisle, she looked up and down but found no familiar faces.

“Looks like something came up at work.”  She chuckled to herself at the surprising comfort that fact brought her.  “Guess we're taking a cab.”

“Eww,” Amber moaned under her breath.

“You've never even been in a cab.  You don't know they're eww. Most of them are perfectly fine,” Jeannie explained as she began searching her purse for change.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Amber then whined.  “There was no way I was going on the plane.”

“It’s...right over there,” her mother responded, scanning the terminal until she saw a “Women” sign about 500 feet down on the left.  She pointed it out to her.

“I can’t go by myself.  Juli, go with me.”

When she got no response, she huffed and looked up at her sister.  Juli was glassy-eyed and staring off into nothing. She tugged at Juli's sweatshirt sleeve.  “Juli? Earth to Juli! Where are you?”

It took several seconds, but eventually Juli made it known she was on the same plane of existence as those who surrounded her.  She pinched her eyes together, took a deep breath, and then turned in Amber’s direction. “What?”

“I want you to take me to the bathroom.”

“Huh?  Didn't you stop needing help years ago?  Like, back when you were 5, 6?”

“I _can_ go; I just don't want to go by myself.  What if I get kidnapped? Or lost on the way back?”

Juli’s eyes widened and she shivered.  A kaleidoscope of active butterflies took up residence in her stomach.

“No one’s getting kidnapped!” Jeannie blurted out, causing Amber to jump slightly.  The older woman then closed her eyes and swallowed hard. All the way to San Francisco, she had wondered if this would happen when Juli saw the airport again.  Now that it was, she knew she would have to tackle it sooner rather than later. She'd also have to admit her father was right when he speculated Juli was not handling the Carl Murchinson ordeal well.

Taking her purse off her shoulder, Jean gently placed a hand on her daughter's cheek.  “Juli, dig through my purse and find a quarter so I can call a cab. Stay here; we'll be right back, okay?”

“But...I can't stay here…” the 13 year old protested.

“You'll be just fine, sweetheart.  Swear. We won't be long.”

“What's with her all of a sudden?” Amber asked as she and her mom walked away.

“Nothing.  The change is just hitting her, that's all.”

In addition to not being let in on the truth of her parents’ marriage, Amber was also not told about her mother being kidnapped and her grandfather being the target of a murderous, vengeful stalker the last time Jeannie and Juli were in San Francisco.  Amber had no idea what went on in Juli's head.

Juli stood hugging her mother's purse and watching the two walk away like she would never see them again.  The last time her mother walked away from her, she didn't come back, and Juli was certain it would happen again.  She stared at every man in the terminal as her heart pounded in her ears. They might as well have been Jason Voorhees and wearing hockey masks while wielding machetes.  Despite the fact that they were all minding their own business as they traveled between gates, Juli just knew one of them was a murderer. Everyone was a murderer. Hell, her own grandfather had arrested hundreds of them.

A sudden rush of anger pushed over her.   _STOP!_ her brain screamed at itself. _You have to have proof, and you have none!  Stop being an idiot!_

Telling herself to push past it, Juli took a deep breath, sighed, and looked through the purse, quickly finding a stray quarter at the bottom.  She then flung the bag’s strap over her shoulder, crossed her arms over her chest, and proceeded to slowly wander from the gate. Left and right she turned her head, hoping to see her grandfather looking out a window or chatting up a stranger.  The fact that he was missing started another wave of butterflies fluttering madly in her stomach. Was he alright? Was he dead? Oh God, he was dead, wasn’t he?

_SHUT UP, YOU MORON!  HE’S NOT DEAD! YOU HAVE NO PROOF!_

Her therapist had told her to remind herself of that any time she assumed something bad.  After all, Mike never made an arrest without proof, and he was more or less a legend. “Be a legend, Juli,” she said.  Sometimes it actually worked.

Juli never felt legendary, and distraction often worked better, so she resumed looking around the terminal for anything familiar, any scrap of reality to pull her out of the panicked hell she had just entered.  What she saw was a crowd of roughly a dozen people staring up at a television, seemingly mesmerized at the visuals.

Finding that odd, she wandered over to see what was so interesting.  As she got close, she found someone in the group more interesting than whatever they were all watching.   Still handsome, still impeccably dressed. His hair had a few grays strewn haphazardly throughout that she swore weren't there the last time she saw him a year prior, but it hardly disguised his identity.  A slight smile came across her lips and a few of the butterflies landed, partly due to the small island of familiarity in the sea of frightening newness, partly because this must have been Grandpa Mike’s lifeline so that his girls would arrive home in the way he thought they deserved...and though she was hesitant to admit it to herself, it meant everything from early 1992 was okay again.  Maybe even forgotten. Just like it had never happened. A tear ran down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away.

But one thing Juli had lost that year was her ability to stay positive.  Any hopeful thought was immediately replaced with a negative one, like, _How will he react?  Friendly? Standoffish?_  Now she wished a cab _was_ her ride home.  Taking a deep breath, she wandered over to the crowd and stood next to the well-dressed man without announcing her arrival.  She wasn't the type to attract attention to herself anyway, even with people she knew and felt relatively comfortable with. Maybe if she just appeared, he wouldn't push her away.  He kept watching the screen, so she lifted her head and watched the drama unfold, not once looking over at him.

The screen showed a mix of live, on-the-scene action and two talking heads attempting to give viewers a play-by-play.  The busyness of the terminal made hearing details almost impossible, but between the action shots, the few words she did hear, and her background of stories Mike had told her over the years, she deduced quickly that sometime that day, a group of men went into a bank downtown, attempted to rob it but messed up, and then took hostages.  There were two unconfirmed fatalities - possibly more. The poor reporter couldn't get anyone to confirm anything for him despite his efforts to bother any policemen who came within shouting distance.

Juli rolled her eyes.  She recognized one man - who was being hounded by an older Asian gentleman with a microphone - as Lieutenant Connor from Homicide.  Mike had been in the process of appointing a new lieutenant during that 1992 visit when the proverbial shit hit the fan. Connor stepped up and figured out who the perp was terrorizing the former partnership of Stone/Keller. If it hadn't been for him, Steve and Jeannie never would have been saved.  Juli thought Connor deserved more from the city than he got, but Captain Mike made sure he was well compensated. However, him getting the job had almost been an unceremonious afterthought. Juli had forgotten until now, but she was glad to see that her grandfather had made the right decision.

The more she watched the mob of pushy reporters, the angrier she got.  Without thinking, she blurted out, “The lieutenant is holding him off quite well.  But why can't that guy just wait for the press conference? There's always a press conference.  He’s just trying to impede the investigation. The media shouldn't be allowed to do that. We don't absolutely _need_ to know what's happening every second.  That just causes trouble.”

Steve turned to his left to see who owned the complaining voice.  Expecting to see an adult, he was shocked to see a child, but his shock immediately dissipated.  He smiled and said, “I seem to remember hearing a similar complaint not all that long ago. It must run in the family.”

Turning to look up at her grandfather's ex-partner, she shrugged and answered, “He has a point I think.  Though Mrs. Keller might not agree.” She then looked back at the TV and asked, “He’s there, isn't he?”

He, too, turned his attention back to the TV.  “Sitting behind a desk never was his thing.”

“He always told me that the answers were on the street, not at a desk.   He’s okay?”

Putting his arm gently around her shoulders, he said, “I'm sure he's fine.  No one sends in the guy who's in charge of the whole department...even if he wants to go.  He’s earned the right to stay out of the line of fire.”

She nodded.  “So he sent you here to be our taxi?”

Steve turned and started walking away from the crowd, leading Juli back toward the gate.

“He still gives me orders, even though he's not my boss.”  He chuckled. “Hope that's okay.”

Nodding, Juli answered, “Mom was going to call an actual cab.  I'm sure your car smells much better.”

He chuckled again.  “Definitely. Speaking of, where is your mom?”  Looking around, he didn't see the familiar face of his friend of the last twenty-plus years.

“She had to take Amber to the bathroom because my sister is a child.  I suppose I should have stayed put, but I saw you watching the TV, so…”

Pointing at two empty seats, Steve suggested they sit and wait.  Julie waited for Steve to sit before choosing one that left an empty seat between the two.  She didn't fill the unused chair with her bag; she just left it empty.

This wasn’t lost on Steve.  Jeannie had told him it might be a little weird at first for Juli, and it seemed she was right.  In fact, the more he looked at Juli, the more it seemed like she had seen a ghost. To open a line of communication, he asked how the flight was.

“It was a flight.”  She shrugged and then looked around the terminal, still clutching her mother's purse for dear life.

“That’s good.  So, your mom said you were looking forward to moving here.”

She didn’t answer right away.  “Uh, yeah,” was all she said. Her attention stayed on the waiting area.  Suddenly, she blurted out, “I think this was the gate we took off from last time.”

“Last time?”

“Um, yeah.  Last time I was here.”

“Last year.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. Seems longer or something.  But this seems familiar.”

With a facial shrug, Steve responded, “Could be.  I wasn't here.”

“Yeah,” she responded, her tone and volume becoming almost silent.

 _Good move_ , Steve thought.  Then he realized since he opened the door, he might as well go in.  “How have you been? How was school? I haven't gotten to talk with you lately.”

After the two girls had gone back to Arizona, Steve called several times to check on them.  Juli, over the course of several years and many visits to San Francisco, had gotten to know Steve well, even looking at him as more of a father figure than just a friend of the family.  She was often more open with him than she was with her own father. But during the calls after the kidnapping, Juli didn't say much. She would say what she assumed would make Steve happy and never mentioned how miserable and scared she still was.  Steve knew better, but he never understood why she clammed up with him and didn’t feel like it was his place to push.

Juli sat back in a more relaxed position.  “School was terrible. I wish I could have kept with the home school tutor.  But Padre didn't agree.” She scowled. Turning to finally look at him, she asked, “Would you have let me stay home?”

He nodded.  “Until you felt you were ready to go back.  What happened at school?”

“Nothing.  My friends just suck, that’s all.”

“Ah.  Well, you’ll make new friends here.”

She said nothing, choosing instead to fiddle with her mother’s purse strap.

After an awkward pause, Steve mentioned, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Glancing over at him, she nodded and said, “Yeah.  Why?”

“Nothing, really.  You just look like you don’t feel very good, and I thought maybe you’d want to talk about it.”

She took off her glasses, held them up to the lights, and made a disgusted face.  “I wish I could get contacts. There are a lot of mountains between here and Phoenix.  People don’t think there are, but there are,” she explained and she lowered her glasses, pulled out the bottom of her sweatshirt, and used it to wipe off the lenses.  “I don’t do well with turbulence sometimes.”

“Yeah,” was Steve’s only reply.  He had been on that SFO to PHX flight several times, so he knew the typical flight path.  The only elevated land it crossed was a few short mountains to the west of Phoenix and scattered across southern California, and then the Sequoia National Forest east of Fresno.  Between that and just southwest of Modesto, the land was as flat as Nebraska. Plus, the flight was only a little over an hour and, according to the weather report he had been watching in one of the airport’s lounges while waiting, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky west of Tahoe.

Disappointed, Steve patted her on the back and said, “Okay.  If you ever do need to talk though, and you don’t want to talk to your mom or grandpa, let me know, okay?”

Juli put her glasses back on, turned to Steve, and grinned.  “Okay.”

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

The two turned and found Jeannie approaching them, her arms outstretched.  Steve smiled and stood up, reciprocating her welcoming hug.

“I could say the same for you, kid,” he replied as the two embraced.  He pulled away and added, “You look great.”

“All things considered, right?”  She chuckled. “Same to you.” She then turned and took her purse from Juli, hanging it off her shoulder before putting her arm around her daughter’s waist.  “I see you found my almost teenager who needs to stop growing!”

“She does seem like she’s grown a foot in a year and a half.  But then I think Alex has grown two feet.”

“How’s he holding up?” she asked, her tone changing from happy to melancholy.

Steve put his hands on his hips and glanced at the ground for a moment.  He looked up and answered, “Like nothing ever happened. Or like he doesn’t care.  Teenagers. Say, we better get to Baggage Claim and get your stuff.”

Everyone turned and started walking down the terminal.  “So, is anyone going to address the elephant in the room or am I going to have to ask outright?” Jeannie said when they got stuck behind a slow-moving crowd.

“What about an elephant?” Amber asked, perplexed.

Juli shook her head.  “Not a literal elephant.  It’s a saying that means the huge thing no one wants to talk about.  In this case, it’s that Grandpa’s not here.” She turned to her mom and told her, “Bank robbery with dead bodies.  Mr. Keller was watching it when I found him.”

Steve looked down at the girl walking next to him.  “Call me Steve. My students call me Mr. Keller all day long.  That’s enough.”

“Sorry,” she apologized shyly.  “ _Steve_ said Grandpa’s down there.”

Jeannie smiled.  “It’s nice to be home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, a group of butterflies is actually called a kaleidoscope. Google is great.
> 
> I chose to leave part of the events of the reunion movie in tact for drama's sake. Steve was still kidnapped, as was Jeannie, but Steve clearly didn't die. Beauty of fan fiction.


	3. Chapter 3

“You know, I wondered how you were going to get us all in that Porsche of yours.”  Jeannie chuckled.

“I couldn’t have even put all this luggage in there!” Steve replied, feigning exasperation as he approached a silver 1993 Mercedes 300-Class sedan.  

Looking at the classy but decidedly unsporty luxury model, Jeannie commented, “You’re not getting old on me, are you, Steve Keller?”

He laughed as he unlocked the trunk.  “Not on your life. This is Annie’s car.  She’s out of town  _ again _ .”

Amber stood at the front of the car and stared.  She slapped Juli in the side and whispered, “This car has windshield wipers on its headlights!”

Juli had seen them before and didn’t understand her sister’s excitement over the accessory.  “Yeah, so?”

“That’s friggin fancy!  Kinda stupid, but fancy!”

“Your father drives a 40 thousand dollar Corvette, and you think lightshield wipers are fancy?”  She shook her head and walked back to the trunk where he mother and Steve were loading luggage. Amber just kept staring at the marvel that was European technology.

Handing him a suitcase, Jeannie said, “Her career has really taken her a lot of places lately.  That’s great. I know she always wanted to cover bigger stories than just what San Francisco had to offer.”

“Yeah, she always did, didn’t she.  Things are always  _ much _ more exciting away from home.”  Steve took the last of the bags and threw them in the trunk, slamming down the lid and quickly walking to the driver’s door.

Being only 13, Juli wasn’t an expert in human behavior or why adults did or said what they did, but she could sense from the man’s tone  that he wasn't exactly as happy for his wife as Jeannie was. She felt like saying something, but she had no idea what and figured this was some adult matter that they’d tell her was either none of her business or not something she would understand.  Her father told her that so often that one day she just stopped listening.

As Jeannie opened the front passenger's door, she asked Steve, “Where is she this time?”

“LA.  She's covering some big trial,” he answered quickly without adding any additional details.

Amber, who was still looking at the car in awe, rushed to get into the back seat behind her mother.  The remaining passengers entered, and the chauffeur started the car.

“That's exciting,” Jeannie said while she buckled her seat belt.  “Is it the Thurston case? We heard about that one in Arizona.”

Juli sat in the back seat looking quizzically at her mother.  Either Jeannie wasn't picking up on the same clues she was - the clipped answers and disgruntled tone - or the woman was doing the “put on a happy face” deflection thing she’d been doing for months any time people asked her about her own life.  Juli shook her head and decided she didn't even want to know. Too much had happened and too many lies had been told lately, and she felt like one more thing would push her over the edge - even if it had nothing to do with her.

“Well, you’ll be able to read every gritty detail in the next several issues of  _ The Chronicle _ .”  Steve turned around to back up the car and caught Juli staring absently out her window still looking rather forlorn.  “Hey, Jules. See anyone coming?”

Jules.  He had called her Jules on and off for years.  She had no idea why as he was the only one who ever used that nickname, but - in a way that she also didn't understand - it made her feel special.  This man to whom she wasn't even related cared about her enough to give her a goofy moniker, yet to her own father she was just Juli.

She turned both ways and looked for any oncoming traffic.  Turning back to Steve, she grinned and answered, “No, it's clear.”

He smiled back and said, “Thanks, kiddo.”

Juli turned back to her left to watch the world rush by, but it took several minutes for the glow to leave her face.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn’t supposed to happen.  She honestly didn’t expect it to happen.  She figured with everything else that had occurred in the last few months, she would have no trouble walking into her grandfather’s house again.  However, the moment she stepped over the threshold, she smelled the overwhelming aroma of baking cookies.

Mike’s wife Donna was ever the grandmotherly domestic type.  A widow with no kids of her own, Donna took to Mike’s family and immediately treated them like they had been her child and grandchildren all her life.  She quilted, crocheted, and knitted. She crafted with beads and paper. She collected recipes. Besides sitting down for her novel-a-week habit, the woman was always on the go, much like her husband.  Whenever Jeannie and her family came to town, Donna fussed over them all, usually cooking enough food for half of San Francisco.

Her need to keep busy doubled when anything stressful was occurring.  When Mike worked late hours on a case, and she was unsure of his safety, she made pies.  If anyone was sick, she made soup. Casseroles were for depressing and melancholy events.  Uneaten food (and there was a lot) went to the freezer. Toward the end of 1990, after the two had only been married a couple years, Mike had to buy a chest freezer just to store all the stress cooking.  He would try to get his daughter and grandchildren to visit more often just so he would have someone to feed.

But the kidnapping?  That was different. Donna didn't bake pies, simmer soups, or concoct casseroles.  Missing loved ones got its own food - cookies. From the time Steve went missing until Carl Murchinson was arrested, the aroma of baking cookies filled the Stone house night and day.  Chocolate chip, sugar, peanut butter, white chocolate macadamia nut...even some cookie that looked like neapolitan ice cream made its way into the mix. Juli smelled nothing but sweetness for a week, and she grew to dislike the smell and everything it stood for.  The one time - months later - when Jeannie had attempted to make cookies for a bake sale, Juli had a meltdown and refused to leave the garage despite the fact that it was 110 degrees in there.

Now here was that damn stink again, and in the same place no less. _Cookies are not for relocations_ , she wanted to remind everyone.   _Think of something new!  Hot dogs, pizza, grilled onions for all I care!  Just not cookies!_

She could hear her therapist in her head.   _Don't think about it.  Distract yourself. Soon you'll go nose blind to it, and it won't be there to worry you anymore._  She had plenty to do to occupy her mind; after all, she was moving into a new home, but after the hugs and greetings, and after Steve excused himself to go pick up his son from baseball practice, Juli chose to sit at the front window and stare down at De Haro Street waiting for Mike to come home.  Putting her clothes in her new closet could wait.

Jeannie stood at the kitchen door, eating a lemon cookie and watching her semi-catatonic daughter stare out the window.  Part of her knew she should intervene and make her do anything but sit in the same spot she sat in back in 1992 when she waited all week for Steve, then her mom, and then Mike to come home safe and sound.  The scene still haunted her to an extent.

* * *

  _“Juli, sweetheart, why don't you lie down for awhile?” Donna suggested for the eightieth time that day.  The older woman smoothed her apron and sat down on the couch behind Juli._

_“Can’t,” was the twelve year old’s only reply._

_“You know I’ll wake you up when they get here.  And they will get here. You won't miss anything.”_

_Juli took a hair tie off her wrist and began putting her shoulder-length permed hair into a ponytail.  Her hair had gone up and down all day in no specific interval._

_Donna sighed but not loudly enough for Juli to hear.  She stood up and brushed a few stray gray hairs from her face.  Her need to maintain a normal, calm environment went all the way to her perfectly-coiffed hair and neatly-pressed outfit.  Her mind might have been rushing a mile a minute, but outwardly she looked like she did any other day._

_It bugged Juli.  As her grandfather's wife went to check on her snickerdoodles, Juli turned around and asked, “Doesn't any of this bother you?”_

_“What do you mean?” Donna asked sweetly, turning back to the girl sitting with her legs crossed on the floor._

_“This!” Juli shouted, throwing her hands in the air.  “Your husband is out there trying to stay one step ahead of a man who probably killed his best friend, took his daughter, and is trying to kill him!  And you're telling me to take a nap!”_

_Donna half expected_ You’re not my grandmother! _to come out of Juli’s mouth next.  “Of course it bothers me,” she said calmly.  “But I have all the confidence in the world in your grandfather, and I know his team and God will keep him safe.”_

_Juli slammed her fists into the floor.  “God, huh? Where was He when this nutcase took Steve?!  Was God there when they fished his car out of The Bay? Where was God when that bastard took my mother right in front of me!?  Where was your precious God when that cop was slaughtered and hanged in the garage next door, and the girl who lives there and I had to find him?  HUH?! No god is gonna take a girl’s mother, father, and grandfather away from her in the same day!”_

_Crossing her arms over her chest, she turned her attention back to the window as tears streamed down her face._

_Donna didn’t know what to say, so she just turned back around and walked into the kitchen.  Juli’s harsh words stabbed at her faith, but she understood where they were coming from. She had thought much the same thing ten years prior as she sat by her first husband’s bedside and watched him slowly succumb to pancreatic cancer.  Her faith in God hadn’t been too strong at that point either._

_Grabbing her oven mitts from the counter, she opened the oven door and took out the cookie sheet, placing it on top of the stove before putting a fresh batch of raw dough in its place.  After she closed the door, she stopped and stared at the wall in front of her. “No god is gonna take a girl’s mother, father, and grandfather away from her in the same day.” Father? Donna wasn't sure where that had come from.  Larry wasn't even in town, so he wasn't going anywhere. Slowly removing her oven mitts and placing them neatly back on the counter, she wandered to the kitchen door and stood in the threshold, watching Juli in the living room._

_Other than when the girl took off her glasses to clear away the tears, Juli barely moved.  She had been in that same position since just before noon, an hour after she had called the police to inform them their killer had just whisked away her mother.  It had become her spot throughout the week as she waited every day for Mike to come home with Steve sitting in his passenger’s seat. But it never happened. In that time, she hadn’t eaten more than a piece of bread or a few crackers; she also hadn’t slept more than an hour or two at a time, and that only happened because her body gave out on her.  No one could quite figure out why she was behaving that way._

_***********_

_“She’s...oh, what did he call it?” Mike said, snapping his fingers to aid his memory.  “An empath. That’s it.”_

_“A what?” Jeannie asked her father as they and Donna sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee two mornings after the day Steve went missing._

_“An empath.  You know Steve; he’s always reading something.  He told me Juli’s one of these empaths. Comes from the word empathy.  But it’s not just that they have a lot of empathy; they feel others’ emotions.  If people around them are angry, they become angry. If everyone’s sad, they’re sad.  Sometimes they absorb too much of these emotions. He said they’re the type people describe as too sensitive.”_

_“My daughter is not too sensitive,” Jeannie snapped._

_“Sweetheart, it’s not a bad thing.  She’s just very in tune with her emotions.  And needless to say, it’s hasn’t exactly been sunshine around here.”_

_Jeannie nodded.  “But she won’t even eat.  I feel like I’m going to have to spoon feed her soon.”_

_“Oh…” Mike grumbled_.

_“It’s true, dear.  All she did yesterday was stare out the living room window and watch the news on TV.  I did get her to eat a few crackers, but I don’t think she was even aware she was eating them,” Donna added while looking forlorn into her coffee._

_Jeannie stood up and went to the coffee maker, grabbing the pot to refill her mug.  “Remember a couple years ago when Larry’s father passed? She was surrounded by people who were grieving, and she didn't act this way then.  She didn't absorb their emotions.”_

_“She also wasn't close to him, was she?” Mike countered.  “This is a completely different ballgame.”_

_“She's not that close to Steve either, is she?” Donna wondered aloud._

_Leaning with her back against the counter, Jeannie shrugged and replied, “Well…  He is her godfather. It’s not like they're strangers.”_

_Mike stood up.  “You two are making a problem where there isn't one.  She's fine. Let her be. I’m going to go solve a problem that actually exists.”_

_He exited the kitchen and went straight to the coat closet to grab his trench coat.  As he took it off its hanger, Julie came ambling down the stairs, her hair a mess and her expression even more sour._

_She looked up and saw what Mike was doing, so she ran up to him.  “Where are you going, Grandpa?” she spit out in a panic_.

_He put on the coat and then smiled.  Placing his hands on her cheeks, he told her, “I'm going to bring Steve back home.”_

_“You think he's out there?” she asked sadly, afraid to look at him._

_Pulling her into a hug, he said, “I know he is.  I want you to eat something, okay? Maybe get some more sleep.  I'll be back before you know it.”_

_“Thanks, Grandpa,” she replied, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his shirt_.

**********

_This is a completely different ballgame, he’d said.  Were Juli and Steve close enough for her to refer to him as not her godfather but her actual father?  That would explain her behavior, but it still made little sense to Donna. Steve had been over to the house before when Jeannie and Juli were in town, but she never saw the two interact like she had seen Larry interact with his daughter.  No, it had to be something else. Maybe she was missing Larry. After all, they’d been in town a lot longer than expected._

_Reentering the living room, Donna sat back down on the sofa and took ahold of the telephone handset.  “You know what, dear? I bet in all the commotion, we forgot to call your father and tell him you two will be delayed.  Perhaps you'd feel better if you talked to him.”_

_Donna looked down and started dialing, but all she got punched in was the 602 before Juli slowly ended the connection by pressing her finger on the plunger.  Looking up, Donna found herself being stared down by the angriest child she had seen outside of a horror movie._

_“This is all his fault,” Juli growled._

_Gingerly placing the phone back together, Donna asked, “How’s that?”_

_“If he hadn’t insisted that we come home right this minute, Grandpa wouldn’t have had to get that inspector to take us to the airport, and that homicidal maniac wouldn’t have killed him because there wouldn’t have been a reason to.  We would have been right here, safe in this house.”_

_While slowly putting down the handset, Donna ran Juli’s argument over in her mind.  It was quite flawed, considering that there was no guarantee Murchinson wouldn’t have tried for Jeannie anyway whether she had stayed in the house or not.  Though part of her knew she should leave well enough alone, she attempted to counter Juli’s argument._

_Juli’s response was to unplug the handset from the base and throw it across the room.  It hit the wall with a thud but stayed in one piece. “I’m not talking to him,” she barked before returning to her post at the window._

_Donna simply sat back and felt sorry for her son-in-law, whom she felt hadn’t done anything wrong.  Why was his daughter so angry?_

_A deafening silence fell between them.  The only sound in the room came any time Donna shifted her position on the sofa or left to bake.  Juli remained statuesque. An hour later, Juli gasped and took a year off Donna’s life. Without saying a word, the girl leapt up, sprinted for the door, and threw it open, flinging herself down the stairs.  Donna sprang up and followed her, choosing to stay on the porch. In the twilight, she saw Juli throw herself into her mother’s arms. The two held each other for what seemed like an eternity. Donna shivered in the crisp night air and watched Mike slowly come around the back of his SFPD-issued Crown Victoria.  She sensed all was not well by his lack of enthusiasm. Instead of waiting for everyone to come up the many steps, she went back inside and headed straight for the kitchen to start a kettle of water._

_“I’m fine, Sweetheart, honest.  He didn’t hurt me,” Jeannie assured Juli again._

_Pulling out of her mother’s embrace, she looked to her left at Mike.  “Did you get him? Is it over?”_

_Mike leaned defeated against the car and nodded slowly.  “Yes, we got him.”_

_The two looked at each other as if they were reading each other's mind.  Mike knew immediately what Juli was thinking, but he doubted she knew his thoughts.  He did know her reaction wouldn't be pretty._

_Taking her eyes off his face, she scanned the length of his body and how he was allowing the quarter panel to hold him up.  “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I'm sure he didn't go down without a fight.”_

_Gently placing his hand on Juli’s shoulder, Mike told her, “It went just fine.  No one was hurt.”_

_She stared at him, barely blinking._

_“Honest, Sweetheart.  He didn’t even touch me.”_

_Narrowing her eyes, she turned her head and glanced around the car before returning her stare to Mike.  “Then why aren’t you happier? Where’s Steve?”_

_There it was.  Mike and Jeannie exchanged a brief look which did not go unnoticed by Juli._

_“Juli…” Mike started._

_“He’s dead, isn’t he?  That bastard killed him, didn’t he?”_

_“Juli,” Jeannie scolded._

_“That’s why you’re upset, isn’t it, Grandpa?”  Keeping her eyes on Mike, Juli wriggled out of Jeannie’s grasp._

_“Juli, listen…” Mike started again._

_“It was a whole week.  No one survives a whole week!  He’s dead!” She was screaming now as she backed away from her family like she was going to make a break for it._

_Jeannie attempted to get ahold of Juli, but she kept backing away and shaking her head.  “Juli, baby, listen to us. He’s not dead!”_

_“Why?!” Juli shouted through a veil of tears.  “This isn’t fair!”_

_“Do you hear me, Juli?  He’s not dead! He’s not,” Jeannie calmly told the distraught preteen._

_Ceasing her escape, Juli looked at her mother and muttered, “No?”_

_Jeannie shook her head.  Juli then looked at Mike who confirmed his daughter’s statement with a head shake of his own._

_Juli crossed her arms and stayed silent for a moment before whispering, “Then where is he?”_

_Father and daughter exchanged another glance as they telepathically decided what to say and who should say it.  They both knew that sugarcoating the truth with Juli would never work, so Mike finally spoke up and announced, “Hospital.  ICU.”_

_A shiver overcame Juli’s body.  “ICU. Intensive care.”_

_Nodding, Mike added, “It’s not looking good.”_

_No one said a thing or moved until Juli collapsed on the sidewalk._

* * *

Jeannie opened her eyes and shook her head to get the image out.  Taking a deep breath, she wandered over to Juli and stood behind her, gazing out the window.  “It’s a nice view, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.  I love how everything is green and that you can see so far across the city.  All I saw looking out our front window at home was the house across the street and their orange tree.”

“It’s definitely different.  Change is good sometimes though.”

Juli nodded.  “Change is great sometimes.”

“Yeah…”  Jeannie let the word drift off after it slowly fell out of her mouth.  As much as she loved being back home, it was still a change she hadn’t necessarily wanted to make.  “Look, your grandpa called and said he should be home within the hour, and Steve should be back by that time as well, so why don’t you go unpack some of your clothes or something.  It’ll be dinner time before you know it.”

She knew her mother didn’t want her sitting and staring out the window, and she had no comeback excuse to stay there, so she got up off the floor.  “Sure, Mom.”

As Juli headed up the stairs, Jeannie stayed looking out the window at her old and new world.  It was more bittersweet than she had anticipated.

Juli walked into her new bedroom and was surprised to not find Amber in there.   _Good_ , she thought as she looked at the dozens of boxes of their possessions that covered the floor.  She wasn’t thrilled about having to share a cramped bedroom with her polar opposite sister, but it was still better than the cavernous room she had in Scottsdale, where she had grown accustomed to lying in bed at night and listening to her parents fight as their harsh words drifted through the walls.  Listening to Amber toss and turn was better than that.

Not knowing where to start unpacking, she picked through the boxes one by one until she got to the bed by the window.  On it laid a keyboard. Juli smiled and knew where she wanted to start on her journey of forgetting everything.


	5. Just a Girl

While Juli sat at the coffee table in front of the couch and flipped through a songbook, Amber wandered into the living room from upstairs.  First, she peeked her head into the kitchen and took a deep breath. Then, she shrugged, turned back to the living room, and approached Juli.

“Smells like a casserole,” she said, plopping down on the sofa behind her sister.  “What did you say casseroles were for?”

“Death,” Juli answered bluntly, still perusing the book in her hand.

“Death?  Who died?”

 _Your parents’ marriage_ , she wanted to say, but chose instead to say, “Grandpa’s freezer if Donna doesn’t start using up some of the stuff in there.  It’s probably just leftovers.” Deciding on a song, she placed the songbook on the keyboard’s attached stand and began playing.

Jeannie came into the room at that moment and smiled.  Her daughter wasn’t staring out the window anymore, and she seemed in her element as she played.  “I can name that tune in...3 notes.”

Looking up, Juli grinned slyly.  “Three notes, huh? You sure about that?”

“Yeah.  Three notes.”

Juli flipped to another song and played the first three notes.

Jeannie crossed her arms over her chest and looked off into space.

“Tick tock, Mom.  What’s your answer?” Amber announced.  She and Juli then looked at each and smiled.   _Name That Tune_ was a game they frequently played with their mother, and Juli often came out the winner.

“ ‘Rocket Man’,” Jeannie finally answered, shrugging as she sat down next to Amber.

Both girls laughed.  “So close, Mom. ‘Just the Way You Are’ by Billy Joel.  But thanks for playing. As a consolation prize, you get a year’s supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat, a case of Turtle Wax, and a lifetime supply of Lee Press-On Nails!”  She and Amber clapped.

“Rice-a-Roni.  Just what we need around here!”  Jeannie chuckled along with her girls.  She then looked at Juli and told her, “It’s good to see you smile!  What made you decide to get the keyboard out? And how did you get it down the stairs?”

Unlike the toy keyboards that lacked all 88 keys and had multiple functions to assist beginning piano players, Juli’s keyboard was the real deal - a high-priced Yamaha with all 88 keys, a pedal, and a need for an actual power supply instead of just batteries.  It was a pretty solid replacement for an actual piano. Juli loved it.

“It’s not that heavy, just awkward.  I sort of scooted in down. I’m just glad the moving guys didn’t hurt it.”  She turned to Jeannie. “Am I going to get lessons again here?”

“Oh, absolutely.  Your grandfather insisted on it.  ‘The best of the best,’ he said. He also wants to get you the furniture that goes with that.”  She pointed at the keyboard. “Maybe you could put it in your room. Or in here.”

“Can you guys afford all that?  I mean, I know Dad was paying for those lessons, and…”

“You had the best piano and voice teacher in Scottsdale, and you’re going to get the best one in San Francisco.  Especially if the same person pays for it.”

Glancing down at the keyboard so her mother couldn’t see, Juli grinned devilishly.  She knew her father hated paying for her music lessons, so making him pay for them now would be like a knife in his back.

“If she gets all that, then I should get my ballet and gymnastics lessons back,” Amber announced.  “And a barre in my room!”

“Yes to the lessons, no to the barre,” Jeannie replied.

“What?  Why? Juli gets her piano, but I don’t get a barre?  How am I supposed to practice my plié?”

“At an actual studio like everyone else.  Come on, help me set up the table before everyone gets here.”  Jeannie pulled Amber up off the couch and the two walked away, leaving Juli with her music and her thoughts.

_That damn barre.  That’s how this whole thing got started._

* * *

_The sound of glasses clinking, stainless steel forks hitting porcelain plates, and loud conversation filled the cramped but homey Italian restaurant.  It was a local treasure tucked away in San Francisco’s Potrero Hill Neighborhood and had been a favorite of residents for over 30 years. The decor was cheap, mismatched, and in need of modernization, but the food was so delectable that no one ever noticed._

_Except Juli.  As the eight year old sat absentmindedly twirling her spaghetti at her grandfather’s wedding rehearsal dinner, she stared at the wall in front of her.  On it hung a Jackson Pollock print of his 1948 painting “Number 17A.” The brightly-colored drip painting seemed quite strange to her, especially in comparison to the two dusty, faded portraits that hung on either side.  Those were at least actual pictures of something. The Pollock? It was surely something out of a preschool art lesson._

_Alex Keller, who was sitting across from her, glared at her while she looked puzzled at the wall.  It bugged him that she seemed to be staring at nothing. “What are you looking at?” the nine year old snapped._

_She didn't hear him; she just kept twirling and looking over his head.  Further annoyed, he broke off the end of a hard breadstick and threw it at her, hitting her in the eye._

_“Hey!” she shouted, loudly enough to get the attention of Steve, who was sitting on his son’s right.  She threw her hand over her left eye._

_“What did you do?” he asked Alex sternly._

_“What?  Why do you think I did anything?”_

_Pointing to Juli, Steve answered, “Because she's got her hand over her eye and a pained look on her face while you sit here just fine.”_

_Alex huffed and let the fork in his hand drop to the plate with a bang.  That drew the attention of Anne Keller and Jeannie and Larry Wilson._

_“What happened?” Anne, who was sitting to her husband's right, turned and asked._

_“Alex throwed a breadstick at Juli and now she's crying,” Amber explained from the end of the table as she picked a pepperoni off her pizza slice._

_“Threw, Sweetie, not throwed,” Jeannie corrected her from her seat next to Juli._

_Taking a deep breath, Juli attempted to say, “I am not crying!” without tears, but they fell anyway._

_Larry sighed.  “Why are you crying?  It was just a breadstick.”_

_“Exactly!  She’s such a girl.  Stupid baby.”_

_Anne reached behind her husband and slapped her son on the shoulder.  “Watch your mouth,” she scolded._

_“I'm not crying!” Juli practically shouted, causing others sitting in the vicinity of their table to turn and stare._

_Larry huffed, reached across his wife, and grabbed his daughter’s arm.  “Do not shout in public like that again,” he growled._

_As Juli angrily pulled away from his grip, Jeannie gave him a sideways glance, but Steve flat out glared at him.  Steve then stood up, walked around the table, and leaned down to Juli, whispering in her ear to follow him. Standing up, Juli, with her hand still over her eye, followed Steve to the restrooms located just off the lobby.  They stopped outside the doors to the men’s and ladies’ rooms, and Steve got down on his knees to face Juli._

_“Let me see your eye,” he told her._

_She sniffed and dropped her hand from her eye.  Even though she was clearly crying, her left eye was wetter and redder than her right.  Steve gently placed his right thumb under her eye and pulled down on the skin._

_“Does it still hurt?” he asked, looking closely at the eye._

_“A little.”_

_“Like there’s something in it?”_

_She shrugged._

_“Why don’t you go in the bathroom and wash your eye out with water.  Get anything out that’s still in there.”_

_Nodding, Juli turned and walked into the ladies’ room.  A minute later she came out with her eye fully open._

_“Feel better?” Steve, now standing, asked before adding, “Well, your eye anyway?”_

_She nodded very slightly and without any enthusiasm._

_Eyeing a bench against a wall in the restaurant’s small lobby, Steve motioned with his head for Juli to follow him.  He sat down and patted the wooden seat beside him. She hesitated momentarily but sat down. However, she did not look at him, choosing instead to stare at her feet._

_This didn’t phase Steve; he went right on with his conversation.  “You seemed awfully quiet during rehearsal. You wanna talk about it?”_

_Nothing came out of Juli’s mouth for a long time.  Steve wasn’t sure if he should prompt her again or just let it drop and rejoin everyone at dinner, but just as he was about to give up, she asked in a tiny voice, “Will you ignore it or tell me I’m imagining things?”_

_Steve furrowed his brow.  “Does someone tell you that?” he asked, rather blindsided by her question._  
__  
_“Yeah,” she whispered._ __  
__  
_“Who?”_ __  
__  
_Without looking up, she answered, “My dad.  A couple times Mom’s told me she didn’t have time to listen either.”  She then did look up and added, “But she is busy. My dad is too, I guess.”_  
  
So am I, but I don’t ignore my child, _he thought but decided not to assume and make accusations right away.  Plus, he was married to someone he could easily say the same thing about, so he instead shook his head and told Juli, “I will not tell you you’re imagining things.  So what’s up?”_ __  
__  
_Scrunching up her face, she told him, “I’m not lying.  I don’t lie, and I don’t make things up to get people in trouble.”_ __  
__  
_Although they didn’t live close and see each other often, Steve had had enough interaction with his goddaughter to know that she was quite an honest kid.  He was a bit dismayed that her own father didn’t – or wouldn’t – see that. “Your dad tell you you do that?”_  
__  
_She nodded.  “He says all I do is try to get Amber in trouble, and he never believes me when I tell him she’s done something.  She gets away with everything! Mom punishes her, but Dad never does. He just yells at me.”_ __  
__  
_“Did she do something today?”_ __  
__  
_Shaking her head, she replied, “No, not her.”_  
__  
_Sitting back against the wall – with a feeling that he would need the support – Steve let out a breath and asked, “Who then?”_ __  
__  
_“Alex.”_ __  
__  
_He nodded in expectation and annoyance.  “What did he do this time? And yes, I will believe you.”_  
__  
_“He doesn’t want to walk down the aisle next to me during Grandpa’s wedding.”_ __  
__  
_Knitting his brow, Steve uttered, “What?  Why not?”_ __  
  
_Bitterly, she responded, “Because I’m a girl.”  Then she stomped her foot. “Why did I have to be born a girl?  Everybody hates me because I’m a girl!” Knowing she was about to cry again, she bowed her head and put it in her hands._

_After shaking his head in complete disbelief and shock, Steve gently rubbed his hand up and down her back.  “Why do you think that?”_

_She sniffled behind her hands.  “Because he told me that. He told me I was just a stupid, icky girl, and if he had to walk next to me, I’d give him my stupid, icky girl cooties.”_

Cooties are still a thing?  Good Lord. _“Those words came out of his mouth?”_

_Still refusing to look at Steve, Juli nodded._

_He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes.  This was definitely not the time to discuss this with Alex because he knew he’d just want to slap the boy across the room.  After a moment to calm his emotions, he opened his eyes again. “Well, that’s easy enough. We’ll just send him down the aisle before you.  That way, you get to walk down all by yourself, and you get 100% of the spotlight.”_

_Removing her hands from her face, she slowly turned toward him, her face shiny with tears.  “All the attention?”_

_He nodded.  “You deserve it.  You don’t want to share it with a kid who thinks girls have cooties anyway.”_

_“But all those people...staring at me...I’ll probably mess everything up now. Trip or something.  My dad would kill me. Amber should do it. Dad wouldn’t get mad at her. She’s cuter anyway.”_

_Why did it always come back to Larry?  Removing a handkerchief from his back pocket, Steve told Juli, “Look at me.”_

_She did, and he wiped tears off her face before telling her, “First of all, Amber is not cuter than you.  Second, my son told you he didn’t want to walk next to you because you’re a girl, and he’ll be grounded for life soon enough, but you said everyone hates you because you’re a girl.  Does your mom hate you?”_

_She shook her head._

_“Do any of your friends at school hate you because you’re a girl?”_

_“No.  They’re all girls too.”_

_“Well, I know I don’t, and your grandpa doesn’t, so...your dad?”_

_Swallowing hard, she turned from him and looked off toward the dining room.  “Can I go back and eat my dinner?”_

_“Juli…”_

_Throwing her head around, she told him, “Just make Alex stop picking on me.  I don’t pick on him.” She then bolted off the bench and ran back to the table._

_Steve sat in the lobby for awhile, trying to make sense of his conversation with Juli.  As if his psychology and police training was digging itself out of a grave, he just kept wondering exactly what Larry Wilson was doing to his oldest child.  No, he was jumping to terrible conclusions. He knew Jeannie, and there was no way she would ever put up with her husband mistreating her daughter._

_As he stewed, Mike came walking in the front door.  Steve didn’t even notice until the older man startled him out of his skin._

_“Hey, Buddy Boy, what are you doing out here?”_

_He jumped and placed his hand over his quickly-beating heart.  “Geez, Mike. Are you a ninja now?”_

_Mike chuckled.  “How are you able to zone out in all this noise?  Great restaurant, but it’s very noisy.”_

_Shaking his head, Steve answered, “A lot on my mind, I guess.”  He then looked at his watch. “You finally get whatever straightened out?  I was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it to your own dinner or not.  We already got our food.”_

_Mike rolled his eyes and sat down next to his former partner and best man.  “I just left,” he grouched. “I couldn’t take those two going on and on about every single detail that doesn’t even matter.  Just walk down the aisle, say I do, then walk back down it. How hard is that?”_

_Steve laughed.  “This is why Annie and I got married downtown.”_

_“And you’re just as married.”  Mike patted Steve on the leg. “What are you doing out here anyway?”_

_Sighing, Steve sat back against the wall and said, “Attempting to have a heart to heart with my goddaughter, but I think I messed up somewhere.”_

_Mike also sat back, a look of concern developing on his face.  “Is she alright?”_

_Steve shrugged.  “It started because my darling son told her he didn’t want to walk down the aisle with her because she’s a girl and apparently girls are gross.”_

_“Your son said that?_  Your _son?”  Mike added a chuckle at the end._

_Joining in the chuckle, Steve replied, “If he didn’t look like me, I’d wonder if there had been a switch at the hospital.  I sure as hell didn’t teach him that!”_

_Both men laughed further as though they really needed the levity._

_“Anyway, we sort of fixed that issue, though Donna’s matron of honor may not like it.  But I don’t care. There's no rule that says the ring bearer and the flower girl have to walk down the aisle together.”_

_“If it makes Juli happy, then we’re doing it.  My granddaughter’s happiness comes way before that old bitty’s.”  Looking straight at Steve, he then asked, “That’s not all, is it?”_

_“No.  No, it’s not.”  Steve did his customary run of his hand through his hair that he did when he was frustrated.  “Look,” he started off slowly, “I know you didn’t like your son-in-law too well at first, but, well...how do you feel about him now?”_

_Mike narrowed his eyes and muttered, “Why?”_

_Holding up his hand, Steve answered, “Don’t get bent out of shape yet.  It’s just a feeling, and I have no evidence except witness hearsay. And that witness is eight, so take that into consideration.”_

_“So what is this hearsay?”_

_“Alex hits Juli in the eye with a breadstick.  Larry gets mad at her for crying and ‘making a scene.’  I bring her out here, and she tells me Larry ignores her, tells her she’s imagining things, and that he gets mad at her a lot but lets Amber get away with anything.  She also insinuated that he’s told her he doesn’t like that she’s a girl. That made her clam up, and she went back to the table. Now, you know her better than I do, but she’s never struck me as a liar.  And I could tell it really bothered her. Have you seen any of this? Do you think he treats those two girls differently?”_

_There was a pregnant pause before Mike answered, “Thank you!  See, this is why you were such a good investigator.”_

_“Huh?”_

_Putting his arm around the younger man, Mike said, “I’ve been saying this for a couple years now, but no one else seems to see it.  Jeannie tells me I’m still holding on to some kind of resentment toward him when he was a cop, but that has nothing to do with anything.  He just flat out treats Amber better than Juli.”_

_“Why?  How so?  I guess I should be the last person to talk about treating children the same.  I was an only, and Alex is an only. But they’re both your children! You don’t love one more than the other.”_

_Taking his arm back, Mike explained, “Now I can’t prove this, but I think it’s because she’s quiet, shy...not adventurous.  She prefers to read books and learn things.”_

_“Oh yeah, those are awful traits to have in a child,” Steve responded, rolling his eyes._

_“It is for someone as temerarious and foolhardy as Larry Wilson.”_

_Steve looked quizzically at Mike.  “Temerarious?”_

_“Jeannie got me one of those Word-of-the-Day calendars last Christmas.  That was yesterday’s word.”_

_Smiling, Steve said, “And you used it so well.  Jeannie would be proud.”_

_“Thanks, Professor.  Anyway, Amber is more rambunctious and athletic.  She’s more like him. Juli is more artistic, and for some reason, Larry doesn’t like that.  I don’t know why.”_

_“Juli’s musical, right?”_

_Mike nodded.  “She started piano lessons about a few months ago, and she likes to sing.”_

_“Larry’s not one of those jerk guys who thinks that’s for sissies or something, is he?  Alex likes sports like a typical boy, but he also likes to draw. And he’s very good at it, I must say.  I can’t draw to save my life, but I’m not going to discourage him from it just because it’s not ‘a guy thing’ or even my thing.”_

_“Well, Steve, you are definitely no Larry Wilson.  And I wish Juli didn’t have to deal with this, but…”_

_“But what?”_

_“I just...I worry about what will happen when she gets older.  Will the divide become bigger? Or will he finally accept her for who she is?  I’d hate for her to become one of those kids who resents one of their parents because that parent treated them like garbage.”_

_“You care that she resents Larry?”_

_“No.  I care that Juli grows up with people who love her.  He’s an adult; he can fend for himself.”_

_Steve chuckled under his breath.  “You still don’t like him, do you?”_

_Mike curled up his lips.  “I tolerate him; I’ve always just tolerated him.  He has been good to Jeannie - provided her with a good home and comfortable living.  And I guess he’s a decent husband. But…” He then turned to Steve. “Keep this to yourself, huh?  I mean, we see it, but we don’t need to get the whole bunch of them riled up. I would like to see my grandchildren again.”_

_“He’d keep them from you?  Because I know Jeannie wouldn’t.”_

_Shrugging, Mike answered, “Who knows.  Pretty sure he just tolerates me too.” He patted Steve on the knee.  “Come on, your food is probably cold now.”_

_“Be with you in a second.  You go order.”_

_Mike nodded and stood.  Steve told him where the family was sitting and then watched as Mike strode in there and was greeted excitedly by everyone.  He chose to sit back again and collect his thoughts before heading back to dinner. He still couldn’t shake how much this whole thing with Juli was bothering him.  It just irritated him that a sweet girl like her could be mistreated by her own father because of something as petty as personal hobbies, personality, or - apparently - gender; it was something that would irritate him with any child.  However, for some reason, this was bothering him like she was more than just a friend’s child. Yes, they were family in a roundabout, adoptive way, but Juli was so shy that it took Steve quite a few years to get her to warm up to him enough to even carry on small talk.  He never felt much like he was family to her; Amber called him Uncle Steve, but Juli called him Mr. Keller like he was one of her teachers. He kept trying because he always felt like she needed to know there were people in her corner, though he didn’t know why he felt that way.  Now though, maybe he did._

_After visiting the men’s room to splash some water on his face, he headed back to the table, where he found Amber, now sitting on Larry’s lap, exuberantly telling Mike a story.  He also found Juli staring over Alex’s head again._

_“Why are you staring at me again?!” Alex growled, slamming his fork down on his plate._

Oh Jesus, _Steve muttered to himself as he sat down to his cooling plate of fettuccine._

_Juli glared at Alex.  “I’m not staring at you, turdface!  I’m looking at that weird painting behind you!”_

_Alex whipped his head around and looked at the Pollock before turning back to Juli and informing her, “That’s a Pollock; it’s not weird!”_

_“A what?” Juli and Anne said simultaneously._

_Alex looked at his mother, annoyed.  “A Pollock. Jackson Pollock. He’s a famous painter.  He did drip paintings.”_

_“He dripped paint on something and called it a painting?  That’s weird. My art teacher would give us bad grades for doing that,” Juli said._

_“Well then your art teacher is stupid.  Mine taught me that he was very famous for doing those paintings.  They're a different way to express something. He even had us make our own.”_

_Anne had turned and looked at the painting while her son was explained it.  Tucking her long auburn hair behind her ear, she turned back and looked at Juli.  “I agree with you. It's weird. I guess anyone can be a famous painter now. When I was in college, my roommates and I painted the living room of our house.  We put down a canvas tarp so we wouldn’t get the drips on the floor. Apparently we should have sold that tarp and become millionaires.”_

_Alex rolled his eyes up to the ceiling.  “Mom, you don't get it. None of you get it.”_

_Steve, who was also looking at the painting, said, “No, I get it.  There are more than a couple ways to express a thought. Some use words, some use pictures.  Others use more abstract means that are up for interpretation, like music or poetry or...that.”  He pointed at the Pollock. “Those people want us to think, use our brains and experiences to come to our own deductions.”_

_“So, Buddy Boy, what's your interpretation of that?” Mike asked._

_After staring at it for a moment, Steve answered, “A crime scene.”_

_Mike broke down and laughed, as did the rest of the adults at the table.  “That would be your interpretation,” he told the criminology professor._

_“Oh, and what do you see, Captain?” Steve shot back._

_He quickly glanced at it and replied.  “A grisly crime scene. In an alley between a bar and a strip club.”_

_More laughter and a couple groans took over the table._

_Alex patted his dad on the arm.  “Not even close, Dad.” He then looked at Juli and said, “But better than you.”_

_“You can have your ugly painting.  It looks like you,” she replied._

_Clearing his throat, Steve looked at Juli.  “What did you say to me before you came back in here just a few minutes ago?”_

_She looked down at her plate and muttered, “Sorry.”_

_“Daddy, what’s a strip club?” Amber innocently asked._

_Choking on his food, Larry coughed hard and shot his father-in-law a look.  “Thanks, Mike,” he whispered._

_Grandpa jumped in to save the mess he had made.  “Sweetheart, it’s just a place to dance.”_

_"Yeah, yeah.  People dance there,” Jeannie jumped in and said.  “Finish your dinner, huh?”_

_Alex snickered.  Juli glanced at him, confused.  “What’s funny about dancing?”_

_“Right.  ‘Dancing’,” he answered, making quote fingers as he said the word dancing._

_“Dancing?  I dance, don’t I, Daddy?” Amber said._

_“Yes, Baby, you do.  You’re a beautiful ballerina.”_

_Steve snuck a quick peek at Juli and found her looking down at her food, picking at it with her fork._

_“I didn’t know you danced,” Mike said to Amber._

_She nodded.  “I just started.  Ballet and tap. Daddy even gave me a barre so I could practice at home and become real good!”_

_“A bar?”  Alex looked at Juli and said, “You live in a weird house.”_

_Juli didn’t respond.  She concentrated on poking at her food with increasing force._

_“A barre?” Mike asked._

_“Yeah, you know, one of those ballet barres that hangs on the wall.  Larry built one all by himself and hung it in the garage,” Jeannie told her father._

_As Mike was nodding his understanding, Juli piped up and asked, “Dad, since she gets something to practice her dancing at home, do I get a keyboard to practice piano at home?”_

_Larry sighed and shook his head.  “I thought we agreed this discussion was over, Juli.”_

_“But that’s not fair!” she whined._

_“No, you know what’s not fair,” Larry started, turning in his seat to face his oldest as he picked Amber up off his lap and continued, “is how much money I’ve had to shell out for you just so you can quit everything you start.  First it was dance outfits and shoes. You quit that six months later. Then it was gymnastics, which you didn’t even start. Oh, and the skating lessons. Do you know how much ice skates cost?”_

_“She nearly broke her ankle doing that!” Jeannie added.  “I ended that.”_

_“Not the point,” he answered, looking at his wife then back to his daughter.  “The point is, between the lessons and the equipment, you’ve cost me thousands of dollars, but there’s nothing to show for it!  You can’t stick with anything, so why should I pay for a piano just so you can grow bored with it or something, and I’m out another thousand dollars?”_

_Juli was shaking.  “Not a piano. A keyboard.”_

_“What’s the difference?  It’s bad enough I’m paying for the lessons.  You can practice at your teacher’s house. When you realize you don’t play well, or whatever excuse you’ll have, then she keeps the piano, and I don’t lose as much.”  He turned back to his dinner and continued to eat like nothing had happened._

_“I don’t...I don’t quit…”_

_“End of discussion, Juli.”  He didn’t even look at her; he simply picked up his wine glass and took a drink._

_The rest of the table fell silent.  Juli was quivering, biting her lip, and breathing intermittently.  Everyone was staring at her until they realized that would just make her more uncomfortable, at which point they exchanged glances with each other and tried to resume their meal.  That is, except Steve. He kept his eyes on the now broken little girl who was using every ounce of energy she had left to keep from crying._

_Anne looked over at her husband and, from the redness of his face to the how tightly he was clenching his jaw, realized he was quite upset.  She didn’t quite know why, but she did know how he felt about Mike’s family and how they felt about him, so instead of keeping quiet, she decided to speak up on her husband’s behalf._

_“You know, if money’s an issue, those little keyboards aren’t very expensive.  I bet we could all pitch in...”_

_“I’m not taking your charity, Anne.  Sure, money’s tight. I am trying to start my own firm, and that takes a lot of capital, but I’m not taking charity.  You’d just be throwing your money away anyway.”_

_Wisely deciding to end it, Anne took her napkin off her lap and stood up, announcing that she needed to visit the ladies’ room.  She asked Jeannie if she could use some freshening up, but Jeannie shook her head no. Anne shrugged and left._

_Juli crossed her arms and laid her head on the table.  Alex stared at her, disbelieving what had just happened.  He didn’t really like her, but now he felt sorry for her. He got anything he wanted, so why didn’t she?  That was something his father might know, but upon looking over at him, Alex chose to keep the thought to himself.  His dad looked ready to kill. The look wasn’t lost on Mike either, but instead of being scared like Alex was, Mike was glad.  He had a feeling this was all going to work out in his granddaughter’s favor after all._  

**********

_Jeannie kept wandering in and out of rooms of her house while she talked on the phone with her traveling father.  Juli, who was sitting on the living room sofa, kept getting bits and pieces of how things were going in Hawaii._

_“Did you get to see Pearl Harbor?”  “You climbed how many steps up that volcano?” “You’re eating lots of fruit, right?”  “The girls would love leis.”_

_In the middle of the adventure, the doorbell rang.  “Oh, hold on, Mike. Someone’s at the door.” Jeannie looked through the peephole.  “Oh, it’s the UPS guy. Did you send us something already? Dad, I told you not to do that,” she said as she opened the door._

_There stood a young man in a brown suit holding a cardboard box that was roughly 5 feet long.  Looking down at the label, he asked, “Juli Wilson?”_

_Jeannie put the portable handset against her shoulder.  “No, but she lives here. Come on in. You can just set it anywhere in the middle of the room.”_

_The man nodded and walked in a couple feet, setting the package down on the stone tile floor.  He then wished Jeannie a good day, she thanked him, and he walked out the door with her closing it behind him._

_She turned back to find Juli and Amber standing over the box.  “I didn’t order anything, honest,” Juli announced._

_Larry, having heard the door, wandered into the room.  “What’s that?”_

_Amber had gotten down on her hands and knees and was looking at the address label.  “It’s a box for Juli.” She then pointed at the return address. “It’s from Berkeley.  See? It says Berkeley. I can read!”_

_Juli leaned in closer.  “That’s Mr. Keller’s address, isn’t it, Mom?”_

_Still on the phone with Mike, Jeannie leaned in closer.  “It is. Steve sent us something. What would he be sending us?” she asked her father.  “Larry, go get a razor or something to open this.”_

_Larry did as he was told while Amber reminded everyone that Steve didn’t send them something; he sent Juli something._

_“Why would it just be for me?  It has to be for everyone,” Juli said._

_Larry came back in the room and cut open the box._

_“I don’t know.  We haven’t gotten it open yet, Dad.  Did he tell you something?”_

_Once Larry got one end of the box open, he slid out another box, this one showcasing just what was inside.  Juli gasped and put her hands over her mouth._

_“Ohh...Mike...Steve got her a keyboard.”_

_On top of the keyboard box a greeting card was taped, the envelope saying ‘Juli.’_

_As Larry wandered back to the kitchen to put away the razor, he shook his head in annoyed disbelief._

_Grabbing the card off the box, Juli ripped open the envelope and yanked out the card.  It was a generic birthday card and inside Steve had written,_ Consider it an early birthday present.  Love, Steve, Annie, and Alex.

_She turned to Jeannie.  “He got me a keyboard! Mr. Keller got me my own keyboard!”_

_While he stood back and watched his daughter jump up and down over this instrument he had refused to buy her, Larry grew angrier.  How dare Keller do this without his permission. Wasn’t he listening when he explained why Juli couldn’t have a keyboard? Does he not understand who her father is?  Who her family is...and isn’t?_

_“Put it back in the box; you’re not keeping it,” he told Juli as she started picking packing tape off the box.  She stopped in mid pull and simply said, “What?”_

“What did he just say?!  Did he just say she couldn’t keep it?!” _Mike shouted over the phone._

_“Put it back.  You’re not keeping something that expensive,” Larry reiterated._

_“Dad, I got this,” Jeannie said._

_“But it’s a birthday present!” Juli protested._

_“I don’t care.  They’re not wasting money on something that’s going to sit around my house and collect dust in a month,” Larry snapped back._

_Before the waterworks could begin, Jeannie once again put the phone to her shoulder, and she said to her husband,  “It’s not costing you a dime, and she’s going to stick with it. She’s keeping it.”_

_He began to protest, but she shut him down with a simple, “Final decision.”_

_Juli had a smile as wide as the Bay for the next week._

* * *

The memory put another smile, though rather subdued, on her face.  She hadn’t quit piano, she still had the keyboard, and she proved her father wrong.  Being a girl hadn’t turned out so bad either, even if her father hadn’t wanted it that way.  After all, look where he was now. She cackled to herself as she played the chorus from “(Na Na Hey Hey) Kiss Him Goodbye”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's wife in the reunion movie was named Anne, but mine is a completely different character. I just stole the name.


	6. Blue on Blue

Steve pulled the Mercedes up to the curb in front of the familiar De Haro Street house, put it in park, and turned off the engine.  Alex immediately began exiting the car, but Steve put his hand on his arm to stop him.

“Please be nice,” was all he said.

The fourteen year old scrunched up his nose.  “What? Be nice? I’m always nice to Mike.”

“That isn’t who I meant.”

“Donna?  I’m nice to her too, Dad.”

“Alex…”

Alex put a smirk on his face.  “Anyone who says I’m not nice to Juli Wilson is a damn liar.”

Narrowing his eyes, Steve said, “I’m serious.  I don’t know what it is about her you don’t like, but you better get over it, because this isn’t just a vacation anymore.  They’re here to stay, and we’ll see them from time to time, and I am not putting up with you treating her like crap every time.  She’s been through a lot lately, and the last thing she needs is you picking on her. You get my drift?”

“Yeah...I get it.  You think I’m an uncaring jerk.”

Steve stared at his son and said nothing.

“A guy can change you know.  I’ll show you.” Alex finished opening the door and stepped out of the car.  “I’ll be so damn nice to her, you all will think I’ve been replaced by an alien lookalikey,” he shouted over the car’s roof.

Getting out of the car, Steve rolled his eyes.  “Don’t go that far. I’d hate for you to completely change your personality.  Just save the attitude for the ball field, okay?”

Inside, Mike was sitting down on the living room couch with his wife, daughter, and two granddaughters.  After the hugs and kisses, Jeannie and Juli had inundated him with questions about the bank robbery. Juli had always been interested in Mike’s job and cases and over the years had heard plenty of stories - from adventures in a black and white to multitudes of homicides solved with a handful of trusty partners.  To Juli, these stories far exceeded any crime drama on TV.

Mike, on the other hand, was more interested in Juli’s musical aspirations.  Once he’d finished his tale of the failed downtown heist, he sat down in his favorite chair and decided he wanted to be serenaded.  “Music is a great stress reliever, right?” he said.

So Juli played an assortment of classical tunes she had recently been working on while the adults talked and caught up on everything Mike thought he missed by not picking up the girls from the airport.  Amber, who wasn’t interested in the adult talk or Juli’s piano playing, interrupted to announce that she too had been practicing things. She then proceeded to tumble and do acrobatics around the small living room, drawing attention away from Juli.  

Being used to her sister’s histrionics, and having devised a plan to work around them long ago, Juli asked Amber, “Hey, why don’t you show Grandpa and Donna the thing _we’ve_ been working on?”

Amber stopped and looked at Juli.  “What thing?”

“The dance.  I play ‘Thriller’, you do the dance?  Duh.”

“Oh...right.  Lotta good it’ll do me now.  Practice all that for nothing.”  Amber stood with her arms crossed over her chest and pouted.

Mike looked to Juli for clarification.  

“She was going to use it as an audition piece to get into the contemporary dance class at her studio in Scottsdale.”  Juli looked over at Amber. “You might still need an audition piece here. You don’t know. Do it for them anyway,” she said, pointing to Mike and Donna.

“ ‘Thriller’?  Is that that zombie song?” Donna asked.

Chuckling, Julie nodded.  “Still popular ten years or whatever later.”  She began banging it out on the keyboard and Amber, quickly getting over her pity party, began doing her interpretation of the hit music video.

In the middle of the routine, Steve and Alex walked in the front door.  They both stood quietly as they became part of the audience. When Amber was through, everyone clapped and realized the Kellers had joined them.

“Back when Michael Jackson was black.  Nice, Pipsqueak,” Alex commented.

After gently slapping his son on the arm for his comment, Steve said to Mike, “You made it home in one piece.”

“Yeah, yeah.  You should have been there, Buddy Boy…”

Mike continued with the day's events, but Juli tuned out.  All she could concentrate on was Alex. To her, he looked like he grew a foot in the year and a half since she had seen him.  He also looked more adult - more like a high schooler than the middle schoolers she knew. It was like he became a man overnight.  The acne was gone, the awkward breaks in his voice had disappeared, and he had clearly figured out what to do with his hair - and it wasn’t to put it into that hideous bowl cut half the guys at her old school had.  It was short on the sides, a bit longer on the top, and the natural wave laid perfectly. He looked more like Steve than he ever had in the past.

At the same time, Juli looked just as ugly and awkward as always.  She still had the glasses, still had the zits, and she never could do anything decent with her hair.  It was a long, grown-out permed mess. Her only saving graces were that she was thin, she wasn’t flat-chested (though she didn’t exactly accentuate that), and she had gotten her braces off before she moved.  Other than that, in comparison to whom she could only assume was Mr. Popularity, she was an ugly loser. The more she stared at Alex, the more she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

She got so lost in her own doldrums that she hadn’t noticed Steve sitting down on the sofa next to her.  When she came back to the conscious world, she jumped a little.

“I scare you?” Steve asked, chuckling.

“Sorry.  Guess I got lost somewhere for a moment.”  Looking around, she realized no one was left in the room except for Amber and Alex, who were off in the corner doing some interpretive dance of their own.  “A long moment.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

Nodding quickly, Juli answered, “Sure.  Jet lag. I should put this thing away before dinner.”  She jumped up and walked over to the wall where the keyboard was plugged into a socket.

“I’m glad you’re still using that,” Steve told her, pointing to the instrument.

After pulling the plug out of the wall, Juli turned and smiled.  “Yeah. I play it all the time. So much for Larry’s theory, huh?”

Steve smiled.  “Good for you. I didn’t figure you’d quit, and from the sound of it, you’re very good.”

“Thanks,” she replied, smiling shyly.  “Took a lot of practice, but…” She let the sentence trail off.

“But what?” Steve prompted.

Juli paused and looked at the ground while fiddling with the electric cord.  “But...well...I was going to succeed if it killed me just to prove him wrong.  That’s petty, I know, but…”

“But he deserved it,” Steve finished.

As she nodded, she finished wrapping up the cord and began lifting the keyboard.

“Whoa, don’t do that yourself,” Steve told her.  He then looked over at his son and said, “Alex. Help her carry this upstairs.”

Alex stopped his conversation with Amber mid-sentence, slowly turned to his father, and uttered, “What?”

Standing from the sofa, Steve repeated, “Help Juli carry the keyboard upstairs to her room please.”

“Looks like she’s doing fine on her own,” Alex replied, pointing his hand toward Juli.

“What did you tell me outside?” Steve asked, referring to the conversation the two had had before coming into the house.

Narrowing his eyes, Alex glared at his father but then answered, “Yes, Sir.”  He then walked directly to the keyboard, grabbed the cord, and gently picked up the instrument, tucking it under his arm and heading up the stairs.

Juli, worried about what he would do to it, sprinted after him.

At the top of the stairs, Alex stopped and looked around.  “Which one’s yours, dork?”

Grabbing for her keyboard, Juli told him, “Just give it to me.  You can go back to leaving me alone.”

He pulled away from her.  “Hey now, I told my old man I would carry it up here for you.”

“And you did.  Now give it to me.”

“Don’t you trust me?  What do you think I’m gonna do with it, throw it on the floor or something?  I don’t exactly need _your_ father’s wrath, now do I, _Sis_?”

As he looked into one of the two spare bedrooms, Juli seethed.  Her face turned red and she clenched her fists. She then stomped into her new bedroom, which Alex had finally found.  Upon entering, she saw him placing the keyboard on the bed closest to the door.

“See?  Soft as a cloud.  I like this thing.”  He wandered over to the window and glanced out.

“What?  You like what thing?”

Turning back from the window, Alex looked at her and answered, “That,” as he pointed toward the bed.  “That thing got me a new bike.”

Juli looked down at her keyboard and then back up at Alex.  “My keyboard got you a new bike? Huh?”

With his hands in his jeans pockets, Alex stepped away from the window and headed toward the door where Juli was standing.

“Sure.  You got something, so I had to get something in return.  Mom made sure of it. Can’t have one child getting all the presents and the other going empty handed, now can we?  You got an expensive keyboard from MY dad, I got an expensive bike. Any time you got something, I got something better in return.  It actually worked out in my favor, so yeah, I like that thing.”

Her heart sped up significantly and the same butterflies from the airport began fluttering again in her stomach.  She couldn’t think of a single thing to say that wouldn’t have either come out as a scream or a blubber, so she simply stared at him and said nothing.

“I expect this trend to continue...unless you finally come to your senses and realize that you have a father of your own.”

The two stared down each other for a moment before Alex added, “Buuuutttt…I don’t expect that will happen, soooo…  Although I do appreciate how you’ve given him the cold shoulder lately. Maybe you are coming to your senses.” He then patted her on the shoulder and strolled out of the room.

Frozen in shock at his almost immediate attack, Juli stared at the wall in front of her as she tried to coalesce her thoughts into something that made sense.  When they did meld together, what they revealed to her was a scene from the last time she saw Alex back in early 1992. She then realized that his attack hadn’t been some out of the blue contention that he dug up from a long-forgotten grave; it was an issue that had never even died.

* * *

 

 _The wall was blue.  The wall was very blue.  What kind of blue was it though?  Baby? Robin’s Egg? Maybe there wasn’t even a name for it.  Whatever it was called, it was ugly. Just plain ugly, and the more she stared at it, the uglier it got._  Death Blue.  That’s what it’s called.

_A nurse in bright pink scrubs walked by several times.  Sometimes she had a chart or medical instrument in her hand, sometimes she didn’t, but she always looked over at the waiting area and smiled at Juli.  Juli rarely smiled back. Once, the nurse ran by without looking at her, and she wondered who was dying. As long as the woman ran past Room 212, she didn't really care if someone's time had come or not.  She had too many emotions of her own to deal with to spend time sympathizing with strangers._

_Something started beeping wildly.  A doctor and a male nurse ran toward the cacophony, but to Juli they were just a brief interruption of her wall fixation._  Keep staring at the wall and you won't lose it.  Can't cry about an ugly-colored wall.

_During a quiet moment - at least one that Juli was conscious of - the nurse in the pink scrubs came and offered her ice cream.  “You've been very brave,” she told Juli. “Not everyone your age handles the ICU well. I'd love to get you something.”_

_Juli felt as brave as the Cowardly Lion, so she shook her head and politely declined.  When the woman walked away, Juli allowed a few tears to fall; she couldn't understand why a lady who didn’t even know her was being nice to her, and deep down, it hurt her feelings to even think that way.  But it had been a long time since many people had treated her well, appreciated her presence, or even acknowledged her existence, and she had sadly grown used to it, deciding she didn't even deserve it. She went as far as to become suspicious of people who were nice, like the nurse in the pink scrubs.  Her father had done such a good job of making her feel worthless that she surmised if her own family thought she was a nuisance, why wouldn't a stranger?_

_Still, she was young and human, and she wanted to be loved, so when she wasn't questioning someone's motives, she latched on to people who showed her any kind of affection - like Steve Keller.  His first real attempt at winning her over was when he had defied Larry and gotten her the keyboard. In the resulting four years, he had done enough listening and caring that he gained her trust and return affection - and she enjoyed it.  She craved it._

_And now she felt she lost it.  The thought that she would have to go back to being an unloved, invisible, fatherless child scared and upset her greatly, greatly enough that she felt herself retreating back into the shell she had long ago created when she first realized her father disliked her.  In that shell she distrusted people and became a hermit so that she wouldn't have to deal with them and get her heart broken. She didn't like the shell, and it came with no free ice cream, but it was a better alternative._

_A few more tears fell, but she managed to wipe them away before Anne and Alex appeared.  Alex greeted her with a scowl, and his mother said, “Oh, Juli. What are you doing here? I thought you guys went back home.”_

_“Mom’s in there talking to…”  She paused, realizing she had no idea how to refer to Steve to his wife.  Eventually she spit out, “Mom’s in there with Mr. Keller,” and then immediately looked at the wall again._

_“Oh,” Anne replied without trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.  “Alex, sit down. I'm going to go in and see your father.”_

_As she started to turn toward Steve’s room, Juli said, “They're only letting in one person at a time.  Mom should be out soon though.”_

_Anne pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.  “I see. Well, since his own wife can't see him…”_

_Her biting tone was painfully obvious to Juli, but the 12 year old didn't understand why she was angry._

_“...I guess I'll go get a coffee.  You want anything, Baby?” Anne asked her son._

_“I'll come with you,” Alex answered._

_Immediately shaking her head, Anne replied, “No, no, you stay here.  That way, you can go in and see your father when Jean is done.”_

_“But Mom…”_

_“But nothing.  Sit,” Anne demanded before she turned and walked away in a huff._

_As Juli watched her go, still confused over her attitude, Alex threw himself down on a chair two away from Juli._

_Despite Alex’s attitude toward and treatment of Juli in the past couple years, she still tried to be nice to him.  Both her mother and grandfather had told her to try and be the bigger person in similar situations, and even though she was always met with_ _callousness from Alex, she just kept trying.  She was going to try again, but when Anne disappeared from sight, Juli turned to find Alex glaring at her like a rabid dog. She immediately attempted to find solace in the floor._

_“What are you doing here?” he growled._

_“Same thing you are,” she quietly replied to the floor._

_“And what exactly is that?”_

_Juli cautiously looked over Alex’s way.  “Seeing...visiting your dad. Well, I'm just waiting for my mom, but...”_

_He didn't let her finish.  “Oh, my dad? He’s my dad now?  For awhile, I thought he was yours.”_

_“What?”_

_“I mean, he bought_ you _stuff he never bought_ me _, and he took_ you _places he never took_ me _, and he let_ you _cry on his shoulder like a little baby.”_

_Crossing her arms over her stomach, she quietly uttered, “So?”_

_“So?  So?! Don't you have your own dad for that?”_

_She swallowed hard.  “He's...he's not...my dad doesn't do that stuff for me.”_

_“So you have to steal my dad instead?”  His tone was getting more bitter and his voice was rising._

_Cowering in her chair, Juli squeaked out, “I'm not stealing him.  I didn’t make him be nice to me; he just was.” She then closed her eyes so she could attempt to fight off any tears._

_Knowing she would start crying, Alex used it to take another stab at her.  In a calmer yet still bitter tone, he said, “You don't have any right to cry over my father, especially since all of this is your fault.”_

_A shiver went down her spine.  “My fault? I didn't do anything.”_

_He stood up and moved one chair over so that he was right next to her.  “Yes you did. You took my dad away, leaving me without one. That's an offense karma likes to punish, and it did big time.”_

_Juli tightened her grip on her midsection._

_“If you would have left my father alone, he wouldn't be in there dying.  Karma punished him for being nice to a whiny, lying brat like you instead of seeing past your bullshit and ignoring you.  It’s not totally his fault he did that; you're some kind of witch who puts spells on people I think. Well, guess what? Your evil ways got my father killed.  So yeah, this is all your fault.”_

_No words came to her as her mind processed what Alex had just accused her of doing.  “But...wha…” was all she could mutter._

_Getting close to her face with his, he said, “Your selfishness caused my father to get kidnapped.  Karma.” He then sat back and watched for a reaction._

_With her heart beating a hundred miles an hour and tears welling up in her eyes, Juli jumped up and took off running down the hall, hoping to get as far away from the ICU as she could_.

* * *

Eventually, Juli’s brain accepted the fact that karma, real or not, played no part in the incident, but the accusation still hung over her like a dark cloud.  Maybe things would have been different for everyone if she had just accepted the fact that her father disliked her and not sought out paternal affections elsewhere.  Maybe Alex would be treating her like a friend instead of an enemy.

It was too late for what ifs though; she had to live with the reality of what had happened and her contribution to it.  The biggest part now wasn’t dealing with her fears; it was dealing with a boy who was hateful and hellbent on making Juli as miserable as he...and how powerless she felt to fight it.

“Juli, sweetheart, dinner’s ready!”

Her mother's voice broke her stream of thought.  She realized that she had been standing in the same place for who knows how long and that her face was wet with tears.  Not wanting Alex to know he had gotten to her, she quickly took off her glasses and wiped her face before shouting back, “Be right there!”


	7. Enemy

Juli’s appetite was gone, but it wasn’t because of the leftover casserole.  For starters, the tablecloth Donna had chosen to drape over the long folding table she and Mike dragged out for family dinners was a blue highly-reminiscent of the wall in the ICU.  For the rest of her life, Juli would never be able to stomach that color.

Secondly, the company around her was getting sickening, specifically her arch-nemesis, Alex Keller.  After she had come back downstairs, she had approached the table and found several of the glasses already filled with various drinks, indicating to her that people had chosen spots.  There were two spots with empty glasses, so she chose the one against the wall. Well, she tried. As she sat down, Alex ran over and slid into the chair, causing Juli to sit in his lap.

“Gosh, I didn't realize you liked me like that,” he quipped as she immediately jumped up.

“What the heck?  Eww, no! Never!”

“You’re breakin’ my heart, really.”

She bounced over to the only other open seat, which was at the end of the table...and right next to Alex.  “Why couldn’t you have sat here?” she muttered as she glared at him.

“I called this one.”

“What are you, 5?”

His response was to give her a shit-eating grin.  She replied by glaring at him harder.

Jeannie popped out of the kitchen and asked the two what they wanted to drink.  Soon after, Steve came out and set a dish on the table before grabbing his glass of iced tea and taking a sip.  As he reentered the kitchen, Juli understood why Alex was desperate to take the empty seat; it was right next to his father.

“Called it, huh?  You’re such a…”

Alex leaned in and under his breath said, “Such a what?  Asshole? Prick? Piece of shit? Come on, say it. You’re pissed that I won’t let you sit next to your _boyfriend,_ so tell me how you really feel.”

She sat with her jaw clenched.

Chuckling, he asked, “You can’t, can you?  You’re such a baby. Probably why you can’t seem to just let go of anything like us adults can.”

“What?” she mouthed.

“You know what I’m talking about.  You’re still living in last year, crying about something you had no business whining about in the first place.  Hell, not even just that; you’re still stuck in your whole childhood. Wah wah, your dad’s a jerk. Boo fucking hoo.  Get over it.”

He sat back, picked up the glass Jeannie had set in front of him, and took a drink as if he hadn’t just mortally wounded someone.

Still sitting forward, Juli attempted to defend herself.  “I am not…”

Leaning back in, it was Alex’s turn to glare.  “Bullshit. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t need drugs for psychos, or need to be homeschooled so that you can sit in your dungeon all day avoiding humans because they represent happiness, which you must be allergic to.”

Juli’s expression changed from angry to shocked.

One corner of Alex’s mouth curled up into a devious smile.  “Didn’t think I knew about all that, did you? Well do you honestly think popping pills and becoming a recluse is a normal reaction?  So someone you’re not even related to almost died. People die all the time. You don’t mourn them. But then I’m not really sure what you’re doing is genuine mourning.  You’re faking it to get what you want, which is to worm your way into my family. Guess what? We don't want or need you. My parents don't want a pathetic, lying daughter.  I mean, if your old man can't even stand you, why would my dad? Give. It. Up.”

By then, everyone else started filtering into the living room and taking their seats at the table, so Alex sat back and planted a smile on his face.  Try as she might, Juli could not do the same. She instead stared at the hideous tablecloth and used every ounce of strength she had left to either not cry or not break her plate over Alex’s head.

“Juli, honey, what's wrong?”  

Raising her head, she saw her mother looking at her.  Soon, everyone else was as well.

“Hmm?”

“You feel alright?”

She shrugged.

Most of the rest of the dinner went by without Juli even noticing.  There was an exception though. From the moment they had sat down, Amber and Alex had acted like they were best friends, laughing and teasing throughout the dinner.

_Is he flirting with her?  That’s sick. She’s 11! But then what’s new?  Guys love her._

Juli’s lack of self-esteem was partially from her father’s treatment of her and partially from being in her sister’s shadow most of her life.  All the things that Juli thought were the preferred traits in a person her sister possessed and she didn’t. Amber had beautiful long, straight, sandy-blond hair like her father.  Juli’s hair was a dull brown with disorderly waves. Amber tanned well. Juli looked like Casper’s dead sister. Amber was already an inch taller than Juli, and she was only 11. She would certainly end up more statuesque than her squatty older sister.  The bad skin that plagues many teens? Amber missed that, but Juli was stuck right in the middle. Somehow Amber was blessed with 20/20 vision while Juli was blinder than a bat. Amber had extroversion in spades; Juli had introversion in the same amount.  Juli saw that she only had two good attributes: intelligence and blue eyes, neither of which Amber had. But what guy cares about either of those? None she knew. In fact, the more she watched Alex, the more she realized he was no different than any guy she went to school with in Arizona.  They were all shallow, superficial jerks who were attracted to the flashiest object in the room, refusing to dig deeper for some other treasure than might have been preferential. He probably had a bevy of dumb blonde girlfriends who followed him all over the school and laughed at everything he said, funny or not.  Hell, Amber was doing that now.

And what was with all the laughing?  Opening up her tunnel vision a bit wider, Juli noticed that everyone was laughing.  Why the hell was everyone so damn happy? Her mother was getting a divorce after 15 years of marriage because her husband cheated on her.  Yet here she was, laughing at something her father had said like she was just here for a family reunion. Then there was Mike, who not all that long ago almost lost his daughter and his best friend to a madman.  He was laughing it up as well. Amber and Alex were acting like they’d completely forgotten they each almost lost a parent. And perhaps the worst of all was Steve. He damn near died, but no one would know from his behavior.  All this tragedy and no one seemed to care. How can no one care? No wonder Alex was a callous bastard; everyone else was too. Juli felt a pressure build up in her head that made her want to scream.

After dropping her fork accidentally against her plate, Juli startled herself and quickly took a drink.  When she looked up, everyone was looking at her.

“Honey, are you okay?  You look a little pale,” Jeannie said.

“Your mother is right.  Are you alright?” Steve asked.

Juli bolted upright.  “Stop asking me that! I’m fine!”  She then looked at her mother and asked, “May I please be excused?”

“You haven’t eaten much,” Jeannie observed as she looked down at Juli’s dinner plate, which still had half her serving of casserole on it.

“I’m not very hungry.  Can I just go lie down?”

“Sure, Sweetie.”

Juli took her leave and ran up the stairs.  At the top, she stood for a minute and listened to the activity downstairs.  She heard her grandparents briefly inquire about her health, then her mother answer that she was probably just tired from all the packing and moving, after which Alex asked for more casserole, and the conversation went off in a different direction.  

As she wandered into her bedroom and flopped on Amber’s bed, more tears came rolling down her face.  This time, she let them flow freely. No one cared anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

Happy New Year, all.  Here's what's going on with the story.  I've been thinking lately about some things that were bugging me about the plot and the characterizations and what I needed to do to fix them.  I tend to do this a lot - constantly reflect on my writing and attempt to perfect it.  I did manage to break out of the rut those issues had put me in and sew up my plot holes, etc.  Of course, this means I went back and retconned some things and downright changed others.

Instead of always leaving notes telling readers to go back and reread a chapter I had already posted because there's now a new version (which I'm not sure people really do), I'm going to hiatus new chapters until I fix what I already wrote and complete the rest of the story.  How long will that be?  Who knows.  Depression allows you to have a ton of energy to do something for a bit, but then it's gone and you just can't find the will to work on the story.  I go back and forth from "ALL THE ENERGY FOR THE THING!!" to "IF I DO THE THING IT WILL BE TERRIBLE AND WHY EVEN TRYYYYYY."

If you have depression and anxiety, this might sound familiar to you.  To counter my manic-depressive writing style, I'm going to finish the edits, finish the rest of the story (season 1 - 1993-94), and post in complete.  It will help take the stress of having to have it done quickly off the table.  That will help me actually want to write instead of making me shut down.

So look for the reposting in the future, at which time I will delete this one.

Artistic changes are good things.


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